I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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