I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
