just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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