I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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