Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think people are normalizing furries
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
