i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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