Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
