Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Alive.
So much puke
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
