I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
