Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
