Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize