I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
