She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
