Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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