your parents love me but you hate me
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
