so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The power of my boobs compel you
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
