I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
