The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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