oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
