I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
