hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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