North Korea, Best Korea!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
