I love having hate sex.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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