i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
