ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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