you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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