Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
