I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
