Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
