Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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