Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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