So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i believe in u and ur pee
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
