I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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