therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
