We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
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I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
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Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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