do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We had to coat check the pizza.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
