Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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