i'm signing you up for texting rehab
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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