you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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