Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
