i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
