Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize