Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
