WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
