So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just found a bag of teeth...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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