Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
