Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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