He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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