I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
