Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
