I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
