And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
