found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
