Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
