It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
