he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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