I wish life had little blips of pornography
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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