I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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