Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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