i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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